"Alaska Glow"

See the sunlight through the pine
Taste the warm of winter wine
Dream of softly falling snow
Winter snow Aspenglow

As the winter days unfold
Hearts grow warmer with the cold
Peace of mind is all you know
Winter snow Aspenglow

Aspen is a life to live
See how much there is to give
See how strongly you believe
See how much you may receive

Smiling faces all around
Laughter is the only sound
Memories that can't grow old
Winter snow Aspenglow

Insert Anchorage or Alaska instead of Aspen and you have a sense of how my life has changed and where I find myself today. I enjoy the few hours of precious daylight we receive, as the sunshine glints and glimmers on the snow and the sunsets color the sky. John knew what he was talking about when he sang of the warm of winter wine. As I write this, I am enjoying a glass of wine with my love, feeling the joy of winter and Christmas on its way. Alaska is a life to live, and we are beginning to discover the wonders of an Alaskan winter. We're finding ways to make each other smile, spending time with friends who make us laugh, and making memories that can't grow old.

I realize now that much time has passed since I last wrote, for which I apologize. I sat down many times to compose, to tell stories, to share feelings, yet I was unable to write a post worth reading or one with which I was completely happy. I began posts related to new friends I've made, adventures at work, the joys and struggles of being a first year pediatric occupational therapist, the extreme excitement of having my Collin and Roo with me in Alaska, and many more events and experiences worth relating to those who love, read, and care. I never finished any of my drafts, as things in my life continued to change and evolve.

Below are highlights, a chronological series of life events and mini milestones...I can never think of, let alone write, all of the things we've been through in the past four months, but I'll do my best to give you a snapshot, a glimpse, a penned collage.

August:

• The month of August (and most of the summer) was the time of allll the weddings. I didn't attend a single one, but Collin did! JJ and Jo were married on the 8th, and Collin was honored to be his best man. I wish I could have been there, as well as at Scotty and Erika's wedding, Nick and Alice's, and Josh and Leslie's, with my love.
• My best friend, my love, my favorite human, my heterosexual life mate, and my soul sister got engaged to the love of her life on August 22nd and I was there to experience the love and joy! I went home for a long weekend, attended a 2-day continuing education course, helped set up for Tyler's proposal, and shared in the festivities before saying bittersweet goodbyes and flying back home to AK.

   

• I also started shopping at Costco and working on Pinterest recipes and home cooking.

September:

• I went to the Alaska State Fair...and I chopped off my hair. Woo hoo! (Not at the same time.)

     

• New friends taught me fun games, fed me delicious foods, and welcomed me into their lives to give me a new routine and fun things to do in my free time!
• On September 18th, Collin and Roo flew to Alaska, to me, to build our new life and family! He said goodbye to his family and made the biggest decision I can think of in order to be with me. Roody was a nervous wreck, but after months apart she was finally home with me.
• We settled in to our home and our life, took walks, explored Anchorage, and began to establish our new routine.
• September = Collin lives in Alaska, so I no longer do all of the cooking! In fact, he does most of it. =D
• Wednesday date nights began, giving us a time to treat each other, to love each other, and to have fun just the two of us. Silly me...I invited my dear friend Amy over on our first Wednesday together without having a clue. Collin told me at the end of the night and I felt so bad I almost cried, but he wanted me to be happy, to have Amy time, and not to worry about it at all. He's pretty much the best ever.
• September brought the changes in foliage and the crisp, cold winds. We spent time at new favorite spots and took fabulous photos worth sharing.

 

 

October

• This month was full of fun with new friends who are quickly becoming our Alaskan family. Collin and I began spending more and more time with friends on JBER Army/Air Force base, as well as finding our Sunday family, with whom we enjoy football, poker, and lots of laughs.
• We went camping for the first time in AK. Collin, Roo, and I braved the cold and rain to stay overnight in Seward -- Collin's first time. He was a hero, setting up the tent in the dark, while Roody and I waited in the car, lighting his way. We slept, somewhat restlessly, and I awoke to Collin starting a fire. We made bacon and eggs in a frying pan on the fire, explored the beach, saw a lot of beached jelly fish, skipped rocks, and then packed up, paid for our tent site, and drove the three hours home through the gorgeous Kenai.

 

  

• In mid-October, Collin, Roo, and I moved out of our first Alaska apartment and into our (hopefully more permanent) new home! We relocated to a beautiful home with a coworker, where we are surrounded by trees, have Rabbit Creek in our backyard, enjoy the luxuries of a hot tub on the deck, and have upgraded to a spacious and homey lifestyle. We have a tree loft and a hot tub for goodness sake. What more could we want? Roo runs free and is in heaven; she's made friends with other outside dogs, but we keep her in during the day (in case of wolves and bears).

    

• By October, probably before, but it's hard to tell, I was feeling settled in at All For Kids. Being a new baby otter (OTR for those who don't speak OT school), especially when starting off in a specialty setting, is extremely difficult. By this time of the year, I'd been working at AFK for 6 months and had encountered many, many challenges, situations, and questions that made me doubt my skills, my ability to do my job, and my effectiveness to make a change in the lives of my kiddos. But I'm surrounded by skilled therapists, assistants, managers, office staff, kids, and families, who make my everyday job so, so worth it and absolutely a joy.
• Speaking of AFK, we hosted our annual Halloween party! We all dressed up, decorated the clinic, and invited all of our kids and their families to trick-or-treat. Collin and I set up and helped run the haunted house, where I was the witch and Collin was a werewolf. Most of the kids were interested, some cried and were terrified, and others were bored and not at all fooled by my dress, hat, and makeup, but we tried and we had a blast! Going out with our AK framily on Halloween was equally fantastic -- we surely love our people and feel blessed to have found good, honest, hardworking, kind-hearted, giving people. (Enough sap, I need to get on with this post.)

 

 

 

November:

• This month we settled into our new home, making little purchases and completing projects to make our house feel like home. Our date nights continued, and we (ok, I) began to plan for the Christmas season.
• We had our first hot tub party (just me, Collin, and Amy -- inaugural evening was a success) and giggled to be soaking in warm bubbles while the fog of our breath was visible with each word and our hair froze at the tips. It was such a funny sensation, but such a pleasure and a treat.
• November 14th was Collin's 26th birthday, so I hosted a house party, which was a complete success. Our friend Ben was celebrating his birthday as well, so his wife (my coworker and dear friend) Christine and I planned and executed a joint extravaganza of friendly. Games, drinks, hot tubbing, and talking went on for hours, and all who came enjoyed the festivities (or so I hope and have been told). Collin felt so happy to have a party with my OUR friends and I was thrilled to give him a birthday he won't forget.

• The following weekend we went Christmas tree hunting in Lazy Mountain/Palmer with our friends Khristina and Mike. We had a blast driving out, choosing trees in the woods, sawing them down, dragging them to the car, and driving them home. The roads were ridiculously snowy/icy on our way there, but by the time it was getting dark and we were on our way home, a plow or snow truck had gone through and cleared the way for us. We made it home safely and were thrilled to have our very own trees that we cut down. :D You can't get much more Alaska than that...

  

• Thanksgiving was the hardest time so far for me to be away from home. I'd been sick, missed work, and was recovering on Thanksgiving break, and I was having a hard time being away from family and missing out on our traditional Thanksgiving meal and activities. I missed supervising the cooking, watching the parade and all the football, and sitting in my kitchen with my parents, my sister Amy, and Aunt Patty and Sarah. However, Collin and I made the most of our Thanksgiving here and went to lunch/dinner with work framily. Leah and her husband Jourdan hosted, we all ate amazing food, we played a marathon game of Phase 10, and we all had a fabulous time. I felt so blessed that we were able to have such a happy time, even though we're so far from our home and our families and many of our friends.

December:

• We've been decking the halls since Thanksgiving! Decorating the house, trimming the tree, and lighting up the deck. We spent a few minutes taking family photos for our first Christmas card as a new family. We're so happy to be together this holiday season. It is so hard to be away from home, apart from family, and without our traditions and familiarities, but we're making new traditions and memories together.

 

 

• Collin and I are celebrating our first Christmas together by combining family traditions and starting new ones of our own. With Roo, we're one little happy family. We're excited for the holiday season and ready for a week-long break, a new year, and more Alaskan winter fun!
• All For Kids is full of Christmas spirit! We are decorating the clinic with the help of our kiddos. We had a cookie party where everyone brought cookies to share and we decorated sugar cookies. And we have a Christmas party on the 12th, which is going to be fabulous, fancy, festive, and fun!

 

(my cookie is the Keebler elf on the right) :D

Collin and I are really starting to settle into our routine here in Anchorage, and we're so lucky to be surrounded by people who make us feel happy, loved, and at home. I love my AFK family, our dear friends near and far, and Collin is getting to know new friends thanks to Grandma Carol. I enjoy going out dancing with my friend Amy - can you imagine me two-stepping and line dancing? If you'd asked me last year, or even in April, I would've said no way, but I love it and I'm improving and I'm receiving all the sensory input my vestibular and proprioceptive input seeking brain and body need. Collin goes with me, too, and we're learning how to dance together, which is hilarious. Seriously people, if you come to Alaska to see us (or happen to find yourselves here and care to meet up with us), you MUST go with us to Eddie's -- you'll enjoy the show, I promise you that!

  

Whether we're dancing, watching Netflix, playing with Roo, exploring the wintery wonderland, watching football with Christine and the boys, cozying up with wine and friends on base, or even working and being productive, Collin and I are feeling the love, finding fun, and living our Alaskan wilderness wandering lives to the fullest!

    

Smiling faces all around
Laughter is the only sound
Memories that can't grow old
Winter snow "Alaska glow"

   

Never A Doubt

"There was never a doubt, never a doubt in my mind. We weren't meant to be lonely."

This John Denver song speaks to me and connects to many feelings I have lately. Up to this point, all of my blog posts have detailed my adventures, my happiness, my new friends, my exciting new life. There is so much positivity to share with y'all, but every moment of every day is not fantabulously amazerrific. I feel all of the feelings: happy, lonely, excited, nervous, impulsive, reserved, the list goes on and on. Honestly, I'm feeling a lot lately and it's hard to pinpoint what each emotion means and how to manage all of them at once.

"I suppose there have been times when you felt like a room filled with darkness, not a window around. There must have been moments you felt you were truly alone. Then again, each of us knows, in a night of unbearable sadness, still a light can be found."

John's song is about the magic of love and finding the love that will mend our brokenness. Personally, the lyrics speak to the magic of creating a new life in a new place; they speak to my confidence that this is the place for me, despite the huge challenges I face and the difficulties I experience. I want to be here, I'm glad I'm here, and I'm making the most of it and loving it. But being new to Alaska, to pediatrics, to real life job/bills/responsibilities is scary, and it is easy to feel uncertain and all alone without my people - with new people who are great but not the same. Then there's Collin, who makes everything better, but he's far away and can only do so much for me; and how much do I want to rely on him to reassure me vs. reminding myself to stay strong and to remember who I am?

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I began this post many weeks ago...I have been unable to finish it until now, because I do not want to publish an incomplete thought, an unfinished story, a project in the works. That's what I am - what I feel like - right now. I am In Production and my thoughts and feelings are unpolished and inconclusive. Still, I want to make note of this time in my life, this part of my adventure, because it is true, real, and important for me. When I look back years from now and read my blog from a completely different perspective, I want to remember the bad times as well as the good, the hurt as well as the happy. I know that family, friends, and maybe a few strangers enjoy reading my blog to keep up with my life - and for your support, I truly thank you all. So don't you want the messy, long-winded, repetitive and redundant ramblings that represent my now? I thought so. :)

It is the middle of August and I have been in Anchorage for almost four months. That's longer than I've been away from home before, considering how frequently I visited Bloomington when I lived in Indy. Not only am I far from home, but I'm alone in the sense that not a single person here has known me more than four months. No one knows my history, my character, no one has memories of me or traditions with me. When I think about what to do on the weekends or evenings after work, I don't have a routine to fall back on or habits that guide my decisions. I'm developing them as I go, for sure, but everything is new and it's a process to find my routine, my comfort zone, my normal. Yesterday at work, my boss found me in the gym; she said she had a feeling that I might need a hug. She could not have been more correct. We hugged and we talked briefly about how I am feeling and doing lately, and she clearly stated what I've been unable to verbalize for a while now: I made many big life transitions at one time, which is a really difficult thing to do. I moved away from home, started my first professional job, and started my real adult life. Living away from my family, friends, and entire support system would be tremendously difficult on its own, but I have the added stress of new responsibilities and expectations. I live in a world unlike any I've ever known, and I'm navigating that world alone. Or so it feels. But I am not alone.

I have wonderfully caring coworkers, who are becoming great friends as well. I call home and talk to my parents (and see the dogs), which makes me feel like I'm not really so far away. And I have day-to-day conversations with Hillary, Collin, Brittany, and Amy - they ground me, remind me who I am, make me miss them, and tell me they're proud of me. It feels like years since I've been home, since Patty and Sarah were here, since Collin visited...but it hasn't been years and it won't be years before I see them again. I'm going home for four days next weekend, and it is going to be the most spectacular and bittersweet trip I've ever taken. I cannot wait to see my parents, to sit around with them and talk, to eat familiar Bloomington food, to be at Bryan Park, to hug my Hillary and never let go, to walk my Roo, to feel Indiana summer. I don't have time to see everyone I miss and love, because this is a quick trip for continuing education with the added perk of being at home, but it will be enough to hold me over until Collin moves here in September and brings a piece of home to Alaska. He and my Roo will finally join me on this grand wilderness adventure and we will build a new life together, different than any life I ever could have planned or imagined. All of the struggles I face will slowly fade as I learn, try, fail, try again, succeed, rinse, and repeat. Like my manager told me, I'm a baby, I'm not supposed to know anything. The knowing comes with the doing, which takes time, so here's to growing up and to the new adventure Collin and I chose.

"All the things that you fear, at the most they mean nothing.
All the sorrow and sadness can just disappear.
There was never a doubt, never a doubt in my mind, we weren't meant to be lonely.
Never a doubt, I knew that I'd find you some day."

     

   

Alaska And Me

"Here's to Alaska, here's to the people, here's to the wild and here's to the free. Here's to my life in a chosen country, here's to Alaska and me."

       

                               

 

I have been feeling some big Alaska love over the last eight weeks, and this lovely John Denver song sums it up. It's wild and free here, everything I wanted and more. Everything I didn't know I needed, didn't realize I was chasing, and never dreamed of finding. There was a moment when I'd first arrived and was getting settled in Anchorage when I looked east toward the mountains and thought, "this is where I'm supposed to be; I'm meant to be here." My thinking was and is that all the moments in my life thus far, the adventures, the exploring, the playing, the climbing...they all led up to here and now, having the courage to move to the wilderness and to thrive here.

And I have to say, I absolutely love it here. This is my place. This is my home and my young, new love. It is not infatuation, it is not a fling, it is not fleeting or brief; my love for this place is real, true, deep, and ever-changing.  I have amazing people who will do life with me side-by-side, mountain-by-mountain. We hike, we kayak, I'm sure we'll camp and ski and climb...just give me time. :) Bloomington, IN will always be my true home, my family home, but Alaska has so much to offer and I've loved everything she's given me so far. I can't wait to live through season changes, to watch the wildlife follow their migration patterns, to see seasonal workers and tourists come and go. I can't wait to camp and kayak more, hike more peaks, and climb glaciers I've seen up close.

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A lot has happened since my last post, and I have been neglectful of this blog, in part due to adventuring, and also due to feeling overwhelmed by all the wonderful (and some less wonderful) things I want to share with everyone. And so now I will attempt to provide a thorough snapshot of the last two months of my Alaskan life. Thorough snapshot is an oxymoron, isn't it...? Oh well. :)

May:

• Anchorage Market and Festival - artists and vendors displaying the goods of their trade, fresh produce, live music, and incredible food.
• Thunderbird Falls and Eklutna Lake - exploring the lovely falls with Patty and Sarah, feeling like Pocahontas on the edge of a cliff, crossing a creek on a log bridge, and skipping rocks in a beautiful lake, dreaming of future "Elk tuna" lake hikes, and driving to Palmer to find very little to do there.

 

•  Seward, Seward, Seward - driving south through Chugach and Kenai, marveling at the beauty, driving along the Seward coast to a lovely campground where we spotted a whale (or maybe it was a porpoise), seeing Sarah's first moose on the way home (and her yelling and nearly making me run us off the road), and filling up our water bottles with fresh water straight from a pipe sticking out of the mountain!
• Byron Glacier (again) - walking and hiking up toward the glacier with Patty, Sarah, my friends Amy and Lauren, and other new friends, standing on the avalanche snow, and finding my first ever real-life porcupine (we scared him up a tree, the poor guy).
  

• Flattop - hiking with Miss Lauren Bear, the elevation gradually rising, the trail getting steeper and steeper. The hike started out on a nicely maintained path and ended with scrambling up the vertical, rocky mountainside to reach the top. It was amazing to make it and to be rewarded with incredible, indescribable views. We spend quite a bit of time enjoying and meditating at the top, and then we left our mark as others have done before us: we used large rocks to make the IU symbol on the flat peak. :) Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoosiers!

June:

• Seward and Fox Island - kayaking with my work friend Al and our awesome tour guides, Ben and Bobby, from Sunny Cove Sea Kayaking. Check them out if you're interested in an awesome kayaking adventure! We were geared up and educated before climbing into our kayak for the day. We saw waterfalls, jumping fish, otters, porpoises, puffins, eagles, and the most incredible nature views...truly spectacular! It was hard work all day and there was a misty rain most of the day, but it was quite perfect. The boys had packed hot water for coffee/tea on the spit and sack lunches to eat in God's Pocket, and they shared a lot of cool information about the wildlife and geology of the area. At the end of the day, we joined Lauren and Michelle after their cruise and were served a delicious dinner at the lodge. Fox Island is a must do adventure in AK and one I'll do again in the future!
• Symphony and Eagle Lakes in Eagle River - Amy, Lauren, Michelle, and I were true explorers when we hiked 5.5 miles to find two lakes with water from two different glaciers, tucked away in Eagle River. The hike was long and mostly flat, and so worth the time! We spoke in British/Australian/"something like that" accents and shared pineapple and peanut butter. We hopped from rock to rock with occasional grace. Lauren, characteristically fell in the water, I characteristically climbed straight up the side of the mountain like the true mountain goat that I am, and we all felt the pain of the trek back to the car at the end of the day.

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June 16-23: Collin visited Anchorage to be with me on my 25th birthday :)

• Potter Marsh and Beluga Point - visiting the train depot, chasing the train and beating it to Beluga Point, waving at the people on the train, skipping rocks in the waves of high tide, climbing Beluga Point barefoot in our rolled up jeans, and capturing memories and moments in the sun with the water and mountains as our natural backdrop. :D

• Girdwood - hiking the Winner Creek trail to the hand tram for my birthday. Collin and I went with my work friends to Girdwood's Alyeska Resort, parked and walked through the woods, across wooden bridges, to the functional hand tram, which we used to pull ourselves across the river and back. The water was absolutely gorge-ous and there were small rapids with water shooting, tumbling, and crashing in the ravine. Super fun times were had by all. We dined at Chair 5, which was delicious - the halibut soup and teriyaki burger hit the spot.

My birthday festivities were lovely and special, thanks to lots of great people. Collin wanted to surprise me by flying out, but I anticipated and spoiled his plans. He spent a whole week in Alaska with me and loved every minute of it. Like me, he had his own moment of feeling at home here and it was hard to watch him go at the end of an excellent week. Birthdays have always been a big deal for me; we spend time with family and friends, have special birthday dinners, and feel like the the most important people on our birthdays. This year, my 25th, was another milestone for me; I spent my 18th in Guatemala with great friends and a Barney piñata, and I turned 21 in República Dominicana on a mountain with Hillary and new friends. I marked a quarter of a century as an adult with a salaried job, an apartment, a car, budgets and bills, etc., etc., in Anchorage/Girdwood, Alaska! Hillary and Tyler sent me awesome birthday packages, and my mom was sneaky and gave Aunt Patty a card for me to open on my birthday, which she hid from me until the 20th. My wonderful work people surprised me with a decadent chocolate ice cream cake! So many people reached out to wish me a happy birthday, which made me feel so loved and not so far from home. I couldn't have asked for more on my birthday.

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 There are many more stories to share, but they will have to wait for another day.

"We face every day like the first or the last one

  with nothing to lose and heaven to gain.
Here's to Alaska, here's to the people, here's to the wild and here's to the free.
Here's to my life in a chosen country, here's to Alaska and me."

Today Is The First Day

"...Of the rest of my life...

To grow is to change. To change is to be new. To be new is to be young again."

Today, this week, this change is the beginning of the rest of my life. I have successfully completed my first week at All For Kids, and it has been truly excellent! I cannot overstate how welcoming everyone is, how comfortable I feel in the clinic and as a therapist, and how excited I am to start my career here. :D Am I tired? Exhausted. Am I overwhelmed? Not as much as I thought I would be, but still yes. Can I do this? Absolutely! This is definitely where I am meant to be, and I am going to make the most out of it.

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Since beginning my new Alaskan life, my adventures have been deeeeeeeelightful! Details follow:

1) Driving up the hillside

Soon after Aunt Patty arrived to join me, we got busy with finding/buying all the necessities (details below), so we really needed a break to enjoy the beauty of our new home. We took a drive down O'Malley and kept on going up, up, and up the "hill" until we made it to the Upper O'Malley Trailhead at Chugach National Park. The views up there are INCREDIBLE. We could see the beautiful water of the Turnagain Arm of Cook Inlet, as well as the Sleeping Lady and Denali (known in the Lower 48 as Mt. McKinley) mountain ranges. People actually live all over the hillside and get to enjoy majestic views on a daily basis. New life goal!

2) Buying ALL the things!

If only you could have seen my shopping lists...it was a tad absurd, especially considering that my apartment is furnished. Big "buys": apartment and car leases. Worth it. I love my furnished, comfy, homey, wonderful apartment and my shiny new Subaru Outback (named Dr. Spencer Reid, of course)! Aunt Patty and I visited quite a few apartments, spent over 10 hours car shopping, and took multiple trips to Target, Costco, Fred Meyer (Kroger), and Carrs (Safeway) in order to accomplish our shopping goals. Countless hours and thousands of dollars later, we're settled and life is good.

 

3) Glen Alps and Potter's Marsh

Thanks be to Chris for taking us on our first little Alaskan adventure into the "wilderness." :D We explored a bit more of the hillside, got out of the car and walked on a path up one of the mountain peaks, and drove along the beautiful coastline. And as if that wasn't enough, I FOUND A TRAIN! I climbed on it and everything :)

         

The mountain behind us in the first photo above is Flat Top, which I plan to conquer someday soon! As for the water, I cannot wait to get out on it in a kayak! I have surely found the place where my soul will soar and my spirit will flourish. (Ok, enough of the sappy Pinterest language.)

4) Walk & Roll For Hope with AFK

One of my favorite events in AK to date was the Walk & Roll, which I attended with coworkers from AFK. The 5K walk led us along the cultural trail, which was scenic and hilly. It was such fun to bond with the girls (and Al) before getting busy at work on Monday! If I wasn't sure before I arrived, I knew after the walk that these people were my people and that I would be perfectly happy within my new community. AND there was FREE FOOD at the walk, which they tell me is typical of Anchorage walks! Seriously! I had a hot dog, a bag of popcorn, and a grilled cheese after the walk. A GRILLED CHEESE. I am still not over it, obviously.

5) Byron Glacier day trip

Beluga Point + Portage Glacier + Byron Glacier + Alyeska Resort + Girdwood Bake House

Pictures won't do it justice, but here are a few to tempt y'all. Such a fun trip with Chris, Rusty, and Patty!

         

Yes, that IS a BBC bagel, in case you Bloomingtonians were wondering. :) That bagel has been to quite a few unimaginably beautiful places in its short, yet stale, life. I think it ended up in the trash...but it's in a trash bag in Alaska, so that's pretty impressive to gloat about to other bagels in bread heaven!

Yet another of my personal goals: Climbing to the peak of the glacier behind me (photo above on the right)...it's going to happen, people, and it's going to be ridiculous! It's so funny to me to think that I am excited to climb snow-covered mountains, when I have always been the summer-loving, heat/sweat/humidity-relishing Midwesterner for most of my life. Seriously, if you know me well, think about it; I have always hated the cold, loved sunny, hot summers, and dreamed of living in hammocks on beaches anywhere but landlocked Indiana. And yet here I am in ALASKA, eager to climb glaciers, kayak in icy water, downhill and cross country ski, hike with snow shoes, and cruise around in a snow machine. I hope it's not a phase, but I really think it's an undiscovered passion I now have the opportunity to explore.

6) First week at All For Kids!

No words can truly describe and do justice to All For Kids. My coworkers are fantastic...friendly, welcoming, supportive, encouraging, entertaining, brilliant, motivated, hilarious, loving, and so much more. I started off day one with kiddos on my caseload, which was terrifying and exhilarating, but I was prepared well and felt comfortable asking for help if I needed. My first week had its ups and downs, of course, but my overall stress/anxiety level was significantly lower than I expected. My biggest concern always has been (and probably always will be) to be the best therapist I can be, because my clients deserve the absolute best. As a new therapist, I know that I am definitely not the most experienced, most educated, or most enlightened practitioner in the clinic, but what I do know is that I (with my skills and education) am better than nothing and, more than that, I care. I want to be the best I can be; I need to learn how to be excellent for my kids; and I will do my best everyday to learn and improve. I may not have all the answers today, and I dare say I won't have them in a week, a month, or a year; but my kiddos are going to have fun, they're going to learn with me, and a positive change (one way or another) will come. Insert motivational quote or sarcastic someecard here...

(Patty snapped a photo of me as I headed to work on my first day...
notice the multiple bags, arms full of goodies, and giant coffee mug.)

"To grow is to change. To change is to be new. To be new is to be young again."

I am learning to grow, change, and embrace my professional youth. Now is the time for adventures. Now is the time to push my limits, to test my boundaries, and to break the mold I have created for myself. I live and work in Alaska. This is the beginning of the rest of my life.